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issue 15 . February 2003
She’s Funny That Way
On Saturday February 8th at 8pm, the Venus Envy Bursary Society is holding it’s 2nd Annual She’s Funny That Way fundraiser at the Lord Nelson Hotel. Performers include Mary Ellen MacLean, Shelley Wallace, and Sherry Lee Hunter (of Jest In Time), Anne-Marie Woods, Sue Goyette, Laurie Murphy, and Cynthia Dunsforth. This promises to be a fabulous evening of women’s humour, hosted by Christian Murray of Jest in Time. Tickets are $15 in advance at Venus Envy or by calling 422 0004, Visa and Mastercard accepted, or $18 at the door.
Workshops
All workshops are held at the store, located at 1598 Barrington Street in Halifax. Please register by calling 902 422 0004. The workshop fee is $10 (+tax) per person, and you’ll receive 10% off any purchases made after the workshop.
G marks the Spot
Everything you’ve always wanted to know about the not-so-elusive G-Spot! We’ll talk about history, anatomy, ejaculation and practical g-spotting tips.
Monday Feb. 10th, 6:15pm
For everyone
The Ethical Slut: A Facilitated Discussion
Non-monogamy, polyamory, and polyfidelity are a few of the words used to describe a way of life that eschews the norm of monogamy. This evening is open to any woman who is interested in, or is actively living as a slut and wants to talk about it with others.
Wed Feb.19th, 6:15pm
For women
Eroticizing Safer Sex for Women
What's sexy and safe? Almost everything! Join us in a discussion about communication skills, play, and other ways of broadening your sexual horizons. Discussion will include information about
sexually transmitted infections and how to protect yourself and your partner.
Monday, March 3th, 6:15pm
For women
Sex Toys 101: An Intro to the Wonderful World of Toys
What is it? What do I do with it? Where do I put it?" Anatomy, vibrators, dildos, lube and other slippery stuff: this workshop will give toy novices a chance to learn about different toys in a relaxed atmosphere.
Mon. Mar.24th, 6:15pm
For everyone
Alternative Menstrual Care
Find out why regular tampons and pads are bad for you and for the environment. Learn about the Keeper, washable pads, sea sponges and organic cotton pads and tampons. Discussion will also include information about natural antidotes to PMS related discomfort, and you get a pattern to make
your own washable pads!
Mon Apr. 7th, 6:15pm
For women
Book Review
Dodson, Betty. Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex
New York: Harmony Books, 2002. 238 p. $30.00
Betty Dodson is an institution in the world of sex-positive sex educators, and I’ve been waiting for another book from her for ages. Her book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving was one of those books that changed my life as I read it surreptitiously, a few paragraphs at a time, in the aisles of the small women’s studies library where I worked. She champions the clitoris, the vibrator, and women getting themselves off. It was a new world for a formerly small-town girl, but one I dove into quickly and happily. When an author’s words change your life that much, you really look forward to their next book, hoping that maybe it’ll do the same. And that’s a lot of pressure for a couple of hundred pages of one person’s opinion.
There are great things about this book. It’s very existence is one --- that a major publisher (Harmony is part of a division of Random House) even touched a book that’s written by a sexually vibrant senior citizen is amazing. Dodson quickly puts rest to any stereotype of the asexual senior, and goes into graphic, sexy detail as she does it. And her views on monogamy are certainly not consistent with mainstream sex manual publishing mores. Consider this quotation from the introduction: "This is not a book about how to get a man, how to keep him, or how to get rid of him or kill him after the relationship is over. I have no idea how to sustain hot monogamy or a passionate marriage. My personal record with both is dismal." It’s a theme that carries through the book, and when she sticks to discussing the problems with typical romantic love, how to build a relationship so that it doesn’t include them, and how to get around the problems that inevitably arise, she shines, and I find myself nodding in agreement and talking to my cat about how brilliant what I’m reading is.
But (and sadly, it’s a big one) she loses me during some of her discussions about sex. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still lots of good information in here - particularly good are the sections on how to incorporate a vibrator into partnered sex, her discussions of fantasy, and the fact that she’s so strongly in favour of open communication with sexual partner(s) and using some kind of lube. Beyond this, Dodson and I part ways. She maintains that oil based lubes are the way to go --- not petroleum-based ones, thankfully --- but any kind of massage oil. The thought makes me cringe, and I just keep hearing the word "infection" over and over and over. Lots of women, of course, don’t get infections from using something other than water-based lubes. But lots of women do, and to recommend oil-based lubes as the zenith of lubrication with barely a mention of other kinds of lube seems careless. She also hates condoms, and though I can’t say I blame her for that, I can’t quite agree with her recommendation of the diaphragm. She recommends that one find a partner, give up the evil condom, and use a diaphragm with an oil-based lube. Never mind that diaphragms are latex, and oil eats tiny holes in latex. Never mind that to get a diaphragm as fail-safe as a condom you have to use a spermicide, which is just about the worst thing you can put in your cunt. The last thing is her dismissal of g-spot stimulation and pleasure. While she does have good points about the g-spot spawning its own industry and becoming just another sexual goal for women to beat themselves up over not attaining, she expounds on her points in a way that is completely dismissive of women who do receive pleasure that way. At one point, she describes the publication of the book The G-Spot as one in a list of things that curtailed the sexual liberty of the ‘70s by forcing women back into searching for their thrills through penetrative intercourse alone, rather than concentrating their efforts where they’re supposed to, on their clits. Why not just acknowledge that The G-Spot has some faults, but that now there’s a wider range of acknowledged sexual pleasure and be happy with that?
So I like and appreciate this book to no end, but I can’t love it in the way I was hoping to. I’m still glad I read it, and I’ll definitely be putting some of the information to good use. And I’m still hoping I don’t have to wait as long for her next book.
Valentine’s Day
Forget flowers and candy - get your honey something that lasts the whole year round!
Body Bars - solid cocoa butter and yummy flavors make these bars the perfect massage treat. And really, who doesn’t want to smell like chocolate? $9.95
Raspberry Kiss Honey Dust from Kama Sutra - the same high-quality edible dusting powder now comes in two new flavors, raspberry kiss and tangerine. $29.95
Wet - if you enjoyed Aqua Erotica then you’ll love this brand new collection of stories. Like Aqua Erotica, Wet is entirely waterproof and the stories are thoughtful and well written. $24.95
Art and the Artists
February - Catherine Bussiere, photographer.
The show is called "13" , for thirteen photos, and will run til February 28. This
show, my first solo one, is a collection of black and white images taken in the
past three years. Some are of my daughter, others are of my surroundings, the
country at the time. They are moments in time, unposed, bits of what is.
March - Jennifer Burke.
Works in acrylic paint on canvas.
April - Shelley Sandblom
A Native Haligonian, Sandblom earned a First Class Honours Degree in Philosophy from Kings College, studied Psychology and Oil Painting at McGill, Fine Art at NSCAD, and recently completed an advanced degree in writing at the Institute of Children’s Literature in Connecticut. These paintings are an exploration of the inscapes and landscapes the artist encounters through outward and inward reflection.
Local Events
Vagina Monologues
Wednesday, February 12 or Thursday, February 13 at 8pm
McInnis Room, Dalhousie Student Union Building, 6136 University Avenue.
Dalhousie Students & Friends present the Vagina Monologues.
$10 student/senior $12 regular, available at Venus Envy and at the door. All proceeds to the Avalon Sexual Assault Centre. Contact Robin Grant 425_8750 or vdaydalhousie@yahoo.ca
Women’s dance
Saturday February 15th, 8pm at the Civic Workers Club.
Tickets $7 in advance at Venus Envy, NRG and Reflections and $9 at the door. Proceeds to charity.
Anything You Can Do
Saturday February 22 9pm at the Planet.
Women DJ’s, door prizes, dancing and pool. $4 at the door.
Vagina Monologues
Wednesday February 26th at 8pm
Bust Out Arts Association presents the Vagina Monologues at the Rebecca Cohn Auditorium. Tickets available by phone (494 3820) or at the door $40. Silent auction by local artists begins at 7pm. Proceeds to Alice Housing, The Marguerite Centre, and Coverdale Centre
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