VenusNews » Halifax

August 2006

Toy Review

Escalator

Vibrator, $39.95

Reviewed by Maggie Haywood

First off, let me say I'm a big fan of vibrating cock-rings. As one of the 70-odd percent of women who don't get rubbed exactly the right way during penetrative sex—or at least not enough to get off—I'm totally in favour of these little gizmos that offer a little hands-free clitoral buzz. The Escalator has a lot to offer the vibe cock-ring connoisseur. It's not only multi-speed, but multi-function: with 8 different pulse & vibration patterns that each have 8 speeds, that's 64 different settings to choose from —about 60 more channels than I get on my TV! There's also the nifty feature of "resume play from last stop", so that if you turn the vibe off it remembers your setting for next time. Handy.

The shape of the Escalator is also a plus; unlike many vibe rings that hold a vibrating bullet horizontally across your clit, this one holds the bullet vertically so your have a full 2" or so to rub against. I'm happy to report the Escalator is, indeed, fun to ride up and down.

My only complaint with this toy is too much of a good thing. The little bullet that powers the Escalator is super-super-duper. Way too much for me, even on the lowest setting. In my experience, vibe rings and other rings that offer a bit of clitoral rub often work well with the one who wants her clit rubbed on top, thus able to control movement, contact, etc. But with this little vibe buzzing away, it was like trying sit comfortably on a very angry bee! Bzzzz! I did come quicker than I ever have in my life, but I'm not so sure that's a good thing, since it was all over way too fast to enjoy it...

Bottom line: an awesome toy for girls who like a lot of buzz, but not for the faint of clit.

Book Review

The Straight Girls Guide To Sleeping With Chicks

By Jen Sincero.
New York: Fireside, 2005. 294 pp.

Reviewed by Shannon Pringle

I confess to have a weakness for a good sex guide book, regardless of its target audience. Knowledge is powerful, hot, sexy, and if your head accompanies your desire into the bedroom you are probably going to have a good time. So it was with sheer delight that I happened upon my most recent sexual-how-to manual, The Straight Girl's Guide To Sleeping With Chicks, by Jen Sincero, for here was a book that was neither exclusively heterosexual nor lesbian but addressed some of the grey area on the sexual spectrum. Yes, this is a hip, frank, fun, sexy, sex positive guide for all the curious, questioning, bisexual women out there. From the title on in, the author, a self-described straight girl who has slept with chicks, attempts to give women permission to step outside of their heterosexual experience and enthusiastically explore the world of girl-on-girl sex, yet liberates them from the need to redefine or label themselves as straight, bisexual, lesbian etc.

Sincero weaves her personal experience, hundreds of interviews, and research from numerous sex guide books, erotica, novels, films, porn, on-line sex stores, good websites, and high quality sex stores into a refreshing style that is sex positive, honest, humorous and punctuated with unashamed colorful language. It reminded me of having a good sex conversation with a close friend. Her chapter on masturbation, titled "The Super- Huge Importance of Sticking Your Hand Down Your Pants," is an empowering section for being your own best sex partner anytime, anywhere, complete with accurate anatomy and tips for getting off in public places without anyone noticing. The information on safer sex, lube and sex toys are current, accurate and contain frisky ideas for use while having sex with girls along with purchasing tips. She enthusiastically incorporates anal play, anal sex and strap-on-sex into the vast arena of female sexual pleasure. The diagrams of sexual positions will amuse anyone who grew up playing with Barbie and the text is punctuated with highlighted tips for sleeping with chicks, vocabulary builders and sleeping with chicks old wives' tales. Sincero's chapter, "Oh My God, She Wants Me to Eat Her Pussy" is as much a guide to cunnilingus as it is as it is a call for women to get over their own discomfort with their own vulvas. I love the line on page 122 that reads: "Our capacity to believe our pussies are nasty is up there with believing we're too fat or too stupid." Her chapter on threesomes, regardless of gender, contains some useful questions that perhaps should be pondered before making this popular fantasy a reality.

Sincero brings forth a number of important points that I shall paraphrase and add my two cents:

  • Identifying yourself as straight, bisexual or lesbian has as much to do with how you go about in the in the world and what is between your ears as it does with who you prefer to have sex with.
  • Sex with girls is still sex. This is important as our heterocentric culture still largely defines “sex” as penis in vagina and undervalues any other kind of female sexual experience.
  • Education is the best way to combat performance anxiety and after that trust your instinct.
  • Having sex with anyone, female or male, that you are not attracted to, is not going to lend itself to a satisfying sexual experience, and having sex with a woman for the soul purpose of turning on a man perhaps should be examined more closely. Only have sex with women because you really want to, because you find them sexy, hot and they make you wet when you meet them.

My only issues with this book, and these easily lend themselves to further discussion, are the following: The first is the author's repeated encouragement for using alcohol to break the ice and to dissolve one's inhibitions and first-time jitters when seeking a female sex partner. I passionately disagree with this advice as being drunk or high for the first time with a new sex partner leads to risky sexual behavior and gives a person permission to be irresponsible for their own sexual desire or an excuse if the experience wasn't what they expected. I think it is important to be responsible for and to own your own sexual desire as an empowering part of who you are. The second is that though I understand the authors desire to avoid labels and the issues that go along with them, and I whole heartedly support the right to self identify, if a straight girl sleeps with a chick, discovers that she enjoys sex with women, continues to enjoy sex with women and still enjoys sex with men doesn't that make her bisexual and no longer a straight girl who sleeps with chicks?

Store Event

Megan Butcher & Jane Kansas Read at Venus Envy

Megan Butcher is a librarian, sex educator and writer. Sometimes simultaneously. A veteran of the Ottawa stage, she has also performed in Montreal, Toronto, New York and Chicago. Her first chapbook, This is What She Said, was released in August 2004, and she is currently working collaboratively on a new manuscript. Though reluctant at first, she soon became an inveterate blogger, and you can read about her occasionally salacious life at www.asteroideapress.com.

Jane Kansas has written for many publications. She will read "How I Fucked Up my Love Life Forever," part of her sad and pathetic memoirs. In the fall of 2006 her main efforts are going into writing the notes for an annotated edition of To Kill a Mockingbird.

Venus Envy
Friday September 22: 8pm
Pay what you can (proceeds to the Venus Envy bursary fund)

Workshops

 
Aug. 10, 2006
7:15pm
The Vagina Dialogues
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: women
» details
 
Aug. 17, 2006
7:15pm
Sex Toys 101: An Introduction to the Wonderful World of Toys
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Aug. 24, 2006
7:15pm
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Sep. 18, 2006
6:15pm
I'm Coming! A Guide to Women' s Orgasm
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: women
» details
 
Sep. 22, 2006
7:15pm
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: women
» details
 
Sep. 27, 2006
7:15pm
Take That! An Introduction to BDSM
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Sep. 29, 2006
7:15pm
Erotic Talk - Talking Dirty for Women
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: women
» details
 
Oct. 10, 2006
6:15pm
Going Down: A Guide to Cunnilingus
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Oct. 17, 2006
6:15pm
Up Yours!: Anal Pleasure and Health
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Oct. 20, 2006
7:15pm
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Oct. 26, 2006
7:15pm
Alternative Menstrual Care
cost: $5.00 (no sliding scale)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Nov. 7, 2006
6:15pm
Cheap Thrills: Do it Yourself Sex Toys
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: everyone
» details
 
Nov. 14, 2006
6:15pm
I'm Coming! A Guide to Women' s Orgasm
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: couples
» details
 
Nov. 24, 2006
7:15pm
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio
cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00)
audience: women
» details

Community Events

East Coast Women's Expo

Visit our booth at the second annual East Coast Women's Expo. We'll be offering tax free shopping and prizes!
Bet you never thought you'd see dildos at the Ex!
Saturday, September 23 & Sunday, September 24
Exhibition Park
10am—5pm

Take Back the Night March

Join hundreds of women as we march through the steets and take back the night!
for more info: http://womenscentre.dsu.dal.ca/
Friday, September 29

Walk for Life Halifax 2006

Halifax Central Commons, by the Pavilion Building. Check-in begins at 12:30 pm, the Walk begins 2:00 pm.
Register On-line Today!
Register yourself or a team, learn more, and make donations through our secure site. You can also visit the national Walk for Life site here.
Saturday, September 30, 2006

Art

September
Nardin Friis: Cavell is Cold

Nude photography at local beaches. Mid-December. Brr.

October
Sarah Avmaat

Prints and drawings

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