VenusNews » Halifax
November 2006
- Sale
- New products for the holidays
- Book Review - Brief Encounters: A Woman's Guide to Casual Sex
- Store news
- Store-sponsored events
- Workshops
- Community events
- Art!
Sale
Annual Boxing Week Sale!!
10% off December 27!
20% off December 28!!
30% off December 29!!!
And all week we'll be having a huge WAREHOUSE SALE:
Hundreds of quality silicone and leather toys from $5—$50. Don't miss it!
New Products for the Holidays!
New Kama Sutra Products
The Kama Sutra company has been around for over thirty years, creating high quality and beautifully packaged products for lovers. New products just in time for xmas include lickable body souffles in four great flavors including cool mint and chocolate crème brulee. The Kama Sutra Mint Tree Bathing Gel has been a best seller for years but now you can also get Ocean Blue (smells very fresh with a hint of cucumber) and Tangy Citrus, both available in a handy pump bottle. Intensifying gels have been all the rage this past few years and Kama Sutra has come up with two, one for heating and one for cooling. Neither is overly strong and both have a nice scent.
Various prices
Calendars and Day Timers
Sexy pin-ups, We'Moon, Breast of Canada, Toolbox, Slapshot daytimers and more – get em while you can. Various prices
Lucky 7 Vibrator
Seven functions, waterproof, and quiet all packed into a tiny wireless vibrator! Use the various settings to tease your way to orgasm, mixing things up to prolong the pleasure.
$24.95
New Tantus Toys
It seems everyone is getting in on the 100% silicone in super soft density. Tantus has a couple of toys available in what they're calling O2 material that combines a soft exterior with a firm core.
The Cascade vibrator has gentle ribs and measures 7.5 inches long and 1.5 wide: $119.95
The Revolution is a hefty dildo with a pronounced head and veined shaft. 7.5 inchs long and 2 inches wide: $119.95
Book Review
Brief Encounters: A Woman's Guide to Casual SexBy Emily Dubberley
London, UK: Fusion Press, 2005. 259 p.
Reviewed by: Shannon L. D. Pringle
Casual Sex! We toss this ambiguous term around with great ease, yet rarely define it. What does it mean? Does it mean the same thing to everybody? Does it mean that they don't make you breakfast in the morning? Does it mean you don't ask for their name? It was my last experience with casual sex that sent me running for our bookstore. After years of relationship sex, I had naively jumped into a game where I didn't know the rules or how to negotiate them. The culture had changed during my period of serial monogamy and I needed to catch up. I pulled Emily Dubberley's Brief Encounters: The Woman's Guide to Casual Sex from the bookshelf and embarked on my re-education.
I am drawn to books that give women permission to explore aspects of their sexuality in an unapologetic, unashamed, sex- positive manner, and this is one of those books. In our culture of sexual double standards, the more confident women feel to act on their sexual desires without shame and guilt, the better. However, it is important to note that Brief Encounters takes a heterocentric approach to casual sex, so if you're a women whose interest lies in having casual sex with women, then I recommend The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks (reviewed last newsletter) or the On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex instead.
Emily Dubberley launches us into the world of casual sex by posing the very important question "Are Brief Encounters for You?" With a light-hearted approach, she asks a number of pointed questions and dispels a few myths to encourage the reader to establish what they are looking for from casual sex. In summary: if you are looking for anything more than a good "shag", and if you don't deal well with "false intimacy and regular rejection", casual sex may not be for you, and there's no shame in that. Her language and tone are frisky and the text is spiked with British terms, like "shag", "pull", "knickers" and "bloke" which reminded me of my favorite British comedies.
Brief Encounters broadly and briefly introduces the reader to a number of useful sexual techniques and sexual requests that one may encounter in pursuing casual sex. It is important to establish your physical and emotional sexual boundaries before engaging in any kind of sex, so if something captivates your interest yet also makes you feel apprehensive, consider reading books specific to the topic. I am always interested in what sex manuals include and what they leave out, depending on the specific audience. I was pleased that Dubberley had the gumption to write a section on "Self-fisting: less scary than it sounds" in the chapter on masturbation and "Take it like a man: strap on sex" found in the "anal play" section of the "How to Be the Best Lover Ever" chapter. She also touches on a number of aspects of BDSM "lite". There is an excellent section on how to insist on safer sex and what to put in your "brief encounter kit" so you are always prepared to have sex, protect yourself and arrive at the office in the morning still wearing last night's outfit.
The core of Brief Encounters, however, is contained in the chapters "Casual Type Relationships" and the "Morning After". In the former, Dubberley defines and outlines a number of casual sex relationships like "one night stands", "fuck-buddies", "sex with an ex", "escorts", "bi-curiosity", "cheating" "being a mistress", and "casual relationships". Though I can think of a number of other "casual type" relationships, this is a good place to start. Along with defining these relationships, Dubberly gives tips on how to find them, where to go and what to do. She includes pros and cons of each type of relationship and emphasizes physical safety, in terms of avoiding STIs and dangerous situations at all times. She also draws attention to the emotional risks or the potential to fall in love in a number of these casual type relationships, cautioning the reader to be aware of their expectations when engaging in a various kinds of casual sex. The book is peppered with anecdotes of people's brief encounters, some positive, some negative, and some humorous. "The Morning After" contains a number of shameless approaches to getting out of brief encounters with dignity and respect. She touches on what to do if you can't remember their name, what to do if the beer goggles you had on last night resulted in you having sex someone you might not have chosen otherwise, what to do if they want something more and you do not, and what to do you want something more.
My only issues with Brief Encounters, and I have seen this in other sex-positive guides aimed at women partnering with men, is the mixed message that it is acceptable to engage in non-verbal sexual communication, but it is somehow undesirable to come right out and say it. Depending on the chemistry you have with the person you are attracted to, the words "when I met you I wanted to shag you" can be the most potent utterance you make. Another point that Dubberly makes that contradicts the overall sex-positive tone of the book is when she notes (in an otherwise great chapter on masturbation) that "Female masturbation is cool and something that gives blokes the horn, but they probably don't want to think that your entire life is devoted to it." As a promoter of the idea that you are your own best sex partner, I believe there is nothing shameful about engaging in masturbation as much as you desire and if someone asks you about it there's no harm in being honest.
As for casual sex I will say this about it: it is a gamble. Sex can be disarming, and one can go into a brief encounter with a non-relational attitude only to discover that between the chemistry, the connection and the disclosure you have with the other person, there is nothing casual about it. That is the chance you take!
Store News
Women of Wolfville 2007 Calendar
W.O.W. were convinced a men's calendar could raise more than $12,000 for charity. So this summer they asked men from the commuity pose naked. They stepped out in front of the camera with humour and aplomb. The theme is men doing non-traditional things like knitting and dusting... in the buff. Perhaps the most well-known model is Mr. November, MP Scott Brison.
Proceeds from the sale of the calendar will be split evenly to battle two cancers that hit below the belt—the National Ovarian Cancer Association and the Prostate Cancer Research Foundation of Canada.
"What Men Are Made Of" is available at Venus Envy for $20
Venus Envy Holiday Hours
Tuesdays: 10am—6pm
Wednesdays: 10am—7pm
Thursdays: 10am—7pm
Fridays: 10am—8pm
Saturdays: 10am—6pm
Sundays: 12pm—5pm
Sunday, December 24: 10am—4pm
Monday, December 25: closed
Tuesday, December 26: closed
Sunday, December 31: 12pm—4pm
Monday, January 1: closed
Tuesday, January 2: 12pm—5pm
Store-sponsored Events
The Holiday Hoo-Ha!
DJ Dover & Motorhomo spin it all night.
Performances by Roxy & the Powdered Box!
Saturday, December 2nd
Stage 9 (corner of Grafton @ Blowers)
Tickets $6 advance at Venus Envy, $8 at the door.
I Love You, You're Perfect... Now Change!
December 1st, 2nd and 3rd
Reflections Cabaret
8PM
$10 advance tickets at Venus Envy
On December 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Reflections Cabaret will be the place to see a seamless fusion of theatre and drag. Music numbers from the hilarious hit Broadway musical "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change!" will be performed by local drag artists, Rouge Fatale, April Showers, Oliver Hugh, and Kowyn Dover; directed by Lee-Anne Poole.
"I Love You, Your Perfect, Now Change!" is a comedy about love and relationships in a world of heterosexuals. This production will flip that over, turn it on its ass and transform this Broadway hit into an East Coast queer fiasco!
www.myspace.com/queerplay
SheDog's Bathhouse for women and trans folk
Full info at http://www.venusenvy.ca/shedogs/
Wednesday, February 14th
8pm—2am
Seadogs Sauna & Spa
2199 Gottingen Street
$12 advance, $20 at the door, $5 for volunteers
Lockers available for $5, Private Rooms for $10
Get your tickets at Venus Envy!
Vagina Monologues
As part of the 2007 V-Day College Campaign, the students of Dalhousie University are proud to present a benefit production of The Vagina Monologues to raise awareness and funds for local organizations working to end violence against women and girls.
12 February 2007: 7 PM
13 February 2007: 7 PM
14 February 2007: 7 PM
McInnes Room, Dalhousie SUB
6136 University Ave
$10 in advance at the SUB or at Venus Envy
and $12 at the door
Performances benefit the V-Day 07 Campaign, Avalon Sexual Assault Centre and Bryony House
Workshops
| Jan. 9, 2007 6:15pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Cunnilingus cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Jan. 11, 2007 7:15pm |
I'm Coming! A Guide to Women' s Orgasm cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: women » details |
| Jan. 26, 2007 7:15pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Feb. 2, 2007 7:15pm |
Sex Toys and other Treats for your Sweet - A Valentines Special! cost: $10.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Feb. 9, 2007 8:15pm |
Erotic Talk - Talking Dirty for Women cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: women » details |
| Feb. 12, 2007 6:15pm |
I'm Coming! A Guide to Women' s Orgasm cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: couples » details |
| Feb. 20, 2007 6:15pm |
G marks the Spot cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Mar. 5, 2007 6:15pm |
Sex Toys 101 for Queer Girls cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: women » details |
| Mar. 30, 2007 7:15pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
Community Event
Sixteen Days to End Violence Against Women
Please contact the DWC if you are interested in volunteering at dwc@dal.ca or want a ribbon.
oor Choir.
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