VenusNews » Ottawa

issue 6 . February 2002 . contents

    Instore Events
    Book Review
    Valentine's Day
    Art and the Artists
    Local Events

Instore Events

Workshops

All workshops are held at the store, located at 110 Parent Ave. in Ottawa. Please register by calling 613-789-4646. The workshop fee is $10 (+tax) per person, and participants receive 10% off any purchases made after the workshop.

Sex Toys 101: An Intro to the Wonderful World of Toys
"What is it? What do I do with it? Where do I put it?" Anatomy, vibrators, dildos, lube and other slippery stuff: this workshop will give toy novices a chance to learn about different toys in a relaxed atmosphere.
*For everyone
*Sat Feb 8, 6:30 pm

G marks the Spot **FULL**
Everything you've always wanted to know about the not-so-elusive G-Spot! We will talk about history, anatomy, ejaculation and practical g-spotting tips.
*For everyone
*Mon Feb 10, 6:30 pm

Eroticizing Safer Sex for Women
What's sexy and safe? Almost everything! Join us in a discussion about communication skills, play and other ways of broadening your sexual
horizons. Discussion will include information about sexually transmitted infections and how to protect yourself and your partners.
*For women
*Tues Feb 25, 6:30 pm

Knotty Fun: An Intro to Rope Bondage **FULL**
Learn to tie knots and, more importantly, how to untie knots. We will also discuss safety, buying tips, and teach you how to tie enough knots to keep your friends tied up tight. This is an interactive workshop, and a length of rope will be provided for practice. One hour, plus time for questions and discussion.
*For everyone
*Sat Mar 15, 6:30 pm

Alternative Menstrual Care
Find out why regular tampons and pads are bad for you and for the environment. Learn about the Keeper, washable pads, sea sponges and organic cotton pads and tampons. Discussion will also include information about natural antidotes to PMS related discomfort and get a
pattern to make your own washable pads!
*For everyone
*Mon Mar 17, 6:30 pm

Jouets éérotiques 101: Une introduction au monde merveilleux des jouets
<<Qu'est-ce que c'est? Comment l'utiliser? Oùù le mettre?>> Anatomie, vibrateurs, dildos, lubrification et autres sujets intééressants: cet atelier offre aux déébutant(e)s la chance d'apprivoiser tout en douceur ces domaines de la sexualitéé.
*Pour tous
*Le mardi 25 mars, 18h30

BDSM 101: an Introduction to Communication and Power Play
An open discussion for those who are, or think they might be, interested in BDSM. We will be discussing some terms and definitions, as well as discussion and negotiation of boundaries. Safety and safewords will also be on the agenda. One hour, plus time for questions and discussion.
*For everyone
*Mon April 14, 6:15 pm

BDSM 201: Tips and Tricks
This is a beginner level workshop for those with an active interest in BDSM. We will talk about toys for sensation play, floggers and other spanky stuff, basic knot tying and rope safety, as well as using common household items in new and kinky ways. One hour plus time for questions and discussion.
*For everyone
*Mon April 28, 6:15 pm

Women Writing Eros

There's still time to sign up for our popular workshop for women who either already write erotica or would like to try their hand at the craft. Writers with any, or no, kind of experience are welcome, as well as any kind of writing: poetry, fiction, plays, ramblings, rants. Although we will be discussing some resources for getting published and networking with other writers, the focus will be on the writing itself. There will be four sessions (February 18, March 18, April 22, May 20) at a cost of $20; participants will be expected to attend all the meetings. Registration will not be complete until payment is received. If interested, call, email or drop by and visit.

Book Review

Dodson, Betty. Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex. New York: Harmony Books, 2002. 238 p. $30.00

Betty Dodson is an institution in the world of sex-positive sex educators, and I’ve been waiting for another book from her for ages. Her book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving was one of those books that changed my life as I read it surreptitiously, a few paragraphs at a time, in the aisles of the small women’s studies library where I worked. She champions the clitoris, the vibrator, and women getting themselves off. It was a new world for a formerly small-town girl, but one I dove into quickly and happily. When an author’s words change your life that much, you really look forward to their next book, hoping that maybe it’ll do the same. And that’s a lot of pressure for a couple of hundred pages of one person’s opinion.

There are great things about this book. It’s very existence is one --- that a major publisher (Harmony is part of a division of Random House) even touched a book that’s written by a sexually vibrant senior citizen is amazing. Dodson quickly puts rest to any stereotype of the asexual senior, and goes into graphic, sexy detail as she does it. And her views on monogamy are certainly not consistent with mainstream sex manual publishing mores. Consider this quotation from the introduction: "This is not a book about how to get a man, how to keep him, or how to get rid of him or kill him after the relationship is over. I have no idea how to sustain hot monogamy or a passionate marriage. My personal record with both is dismal." It’s a theme that carries through the book, and when she sticks to discussing the problems with typical romantic love, how to build a relationship so that it doesn’t include them, and how to get around the problems that inevitably arise, she shines, and I find myself nodding in agreement and talking to my cat about how brilliant what I’m reading is.

But (and sadly, it’s a big one) she loses me during some of her discussions about sex. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still lots of good information in here - particularly good are the sections on how to incorporate a vibrator into partnered sex, her discussions of fantasy, and the fact that she’s so strongly in favour of open communication with sexual partner(s) and using some kind of lube. Beyond this, Dodson and I part ways. She maintains that oil based lubes are the way to go --- not petroleum-based ones, thankfully --- but any kind of massage oil. The thought makes me cringe, and I just keep hearing the word "infection" over and over and over. Lots of women, of course, don’t get infections from using something other than water-based lubes. But lots of women do, and to recommend oil-based lubes as the zenith of lubrication with barely a mention of other kinds of lube seems careless. She also hates condoms, and though I can’t say I blame her for that, I can’t quite agree with her recommendation of the diaphragm. She recommends that one find a partner, give up the evil condom, and use a diaphragm with an oil-based lube. Never mind that diaphragms are latex, and oil eats tiny holes in latex. Never mind that to get a diaphragm as fail-safe as a condom you have to use a spermicide, which is just about the worst thing you can put in your cunt. The last thing is her dismissal of g-spot stimulation and pleasure. While she does have good points about the g-spot spawning its own industry and becoming just another sexual goal for women to beat themselves up over not attaining, she expounds on her points in a way that is completely dismissive of women who do receive pleasure that way. At one point, she describes the publication of the book The G-Spot as one in a list of things that curtailed the sexual liberty of the ‘70s by forcing women back into searching for their thrills through penetrative intercourse alone, rather than concentrating their efforts where they’re supposed to, on their clits. Why not just acknowledge that The G-Spot has some faults, but that now there’s a wider range of acknowledged sexual pleasure and be happy with that?

So I like and appreciate this book to no end, but I can’t love it in the way I was hoping to. I’m still glad I read it, and I’ll definitely be putting some of the information to good use. And I’m still hoping I don’t have to wait as long for her next book.

Valentine's Day

Forget flowers and candy, give your honey something she'll love all year round!

Our Valentine's Day Picks

Body Bars
Chocolate Body Paint
Kama Sutra Treasure Trove
Venus Dildo
New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex

Art and the Artists

February - Raffaella Navarretta. Nude Awakenings. Combining the emotional, spiritual and physical realms, Raff's work brings a response of inner thought. Each painting represents a voyage of personal and artistic growth inspiring both individual analysis and a need for greater comprehension of society.

March and April - Nicole de Grandmont. Nicole is an accomplished photographer, particularly in the realm of nudes.

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