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VenusNews » Ottawa
issue 11 . May 2004 . contents
> patrick califia!
> workshops
> summer hours
> pride sale
> toy review
> book review
> new toys
> community events
NOTE: Starting early July, our newsletter will be published more frequently — every two months or so.
Patrick Califia
We're thrilled to have Patrick Califia coming to visit us this July. A pioneer of the sex-positive community, Patrick has written several books of fiction since the publication of Macho Sluts in the late 1970s, the kinky guidebook Sensuous Magic, and many political essays (most recently collected in Speaking Sex to Power). He once said that he started writing in order to see his own desires in print, and in so doing he opened up a space for many people to explore heretofore silent desires. That is not the only way he helped foster an open dialogue around sexuality: he has also been teaching classes about S/M safety and technique for over 20 years. He uses humour and common sense to demystify our sexual fantasies so anyone can turn them into reality.
Meet, Greet, Read
Saturday July 24th, between 5:00 and 7:00pm
free
Come meet Patrick Califia! Saturday afternoon, Patrick will be reading from his forthcoming erotic vampire novel Mortal Companion as well as Sensuous Magic: A Guide to S/M for Adventurous Couples, starting at 6 pm. Before and afterwards, he will be available to sign well-thumbed or brand-new copies of any of his books.
Writing Sexually Explicit Fiction
Saturday July 24th, 8:00pm
$25/person
Mainstream fiction writers often falter when it comes to the erotic lives of their characters. Why leave out one of the most complex, important, and challenging aspects of human relationships? We'll review the basic elements of fiction (plot, character, dialogue, etc.) and how they can best be made to interact with sexual themes. You may bring up to 10 double-spaced pages of your own fiction for the workshop leader to review. (Please include contact information so it can be returned to you after the workshop.)
How to Top (For People Who Usually Don't)
Sunday July 25th, 8:00pm
Club SAW, 67 Nicholas St.
$25/person
Whether you've got a specific hottie on your hands you want to impress, or you're just curious about what sex looks like from the other side, this workshop is for you. You'll get a peek
at the secret workings of a top's mentality and some practical suggestions for putting together a top persona that works for you. We'll also deal with performance anxiety and how to script an encounter to keep the action rolling along.
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Workshops
- Workshops are held at the store, located at 110 Parent Ave. in Ottawa.
- All participants must be 18 or older.
- Some workshops sell out weeks in advance, so register as soon as you can.
- The workshop fee is $20 (+tax) per person ($10 for seniors, students, and limited income).
- All participants receive 10% off any purchases made after the workshop.
- You may pay by phone (613 789-4646) or in person.
- If you have registered but are unable to attend, we need 24 hours notice or your fee is forfeit.
- Some workshops specify an audience (women or men, for instance). "Women" includes trans women; "men" includes trans men.
| May 31, 2004 For everyone | BDSM 101: an Introduction to Power Play |
| An open discussion for those who are, or think they might be, interested in BDSM. We will discuss terms and definitions, communication and negotiating boundaries, safety and safe-words. 1.5 hours |
| June 7, 2004 For everyone | BDSM 201: Tips and Tricks |
| This is a beginner-level workshop for those with an active interest in BDSM. We will talk about toys for sensation play, floggers and other spanky stuff, basic knot tying and rope safety, as well as using common household items in new and kinky ways. 1.5 hours |
| June 22, 2004 For everyone | Vagina Dialogues |
| Women are taught very little about how their cunts work. What's within the range of normal and what's not can be very confusing, even to the person who owns the anatomy. This workshop aims to not only clear away confusion and dispel myths, but to get gals thinking about their genitals in a happy way. We'll cover anatomy, toys and slippery stuff, communication skills, and why knowing how to do a self-exam is important and empowering. 1.5 hours |
| July 5, 2004 For everyone | Going Down: A Guide to Cunnilingus |
| This workshop will cover anatomy, technique, communication skills and tricks to please your lady with your lips. And tongue, and teeth, and.… 1.5 hours |
| July 6, 2004 For everyone | Up Yours!: Anal Pleasure and Health |
| Make friends with your butt! Join us in breaking myths and cultural taboos surrounding anal play. Also learn practical tips about lube, toys, safety and health. 1.5 hours |
| August 14, 2004 For everyone | Sex Toys 101: An Introduction to the Wonderful World of Toys |
| "What is it? What do I do with it? Where do I put it?" Anatomy, vibrators, dildos, lube and other slippery stuff: this workshop will give toy novices a chance to learn about different toys in a relaxed atmosphere. 1.5 hours |
| August 24, 2004 For everyone | Cheap Thrills: Do it Yourself Sex Toys |
| You may never see your house, the hardware store or grocery store the same way again. Kinky sex doesn't have to be expensive - this workshop will show you how to transform everyday mundane items into sex toys. 1.5 hours |
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Summer Hours
The days are long again, and that makes us happy. Our new hours for the summer months...
| Monday | 11 to 6 |
| Tuesday | 11 to 6 |
| Wednesday | 11 to 8 |
| Thursday | 11 to 8 |
| Friday | 11 to 8 |
| Saturday | 11 to 6 |
| Sunday | 12 to 5 |
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Pride Sale
Back again for the 4th year, Venus Envy will be having a pride sale. On July 10th, from 11 to 6, get 20% off any toy.
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Toy Review
Aneros
prostate massager, hard plastic, white only, $64.95
The first thing male anal afficionados will notice about the Aneros is its size. This thumb-sized toy is dwarfed by many other butt toys but don't let that fool you. It packs a punch! Made of high-density plastic, the Aneros, rather than filling you up, concentrates solely on stimulating the prostate, which is massaged as you clench and release the muscles of your butt. As the prostate is massaged, pleasurable sensations undulate through your body. This task is aided by the perineum abutment that thoughtful engineers have added to increase your pleasure. The highly-detailed (and entertaining) instruction sheet that comes with this toy promises that with enough practice the Aneros can precipitate hands-free ejaculation. Your humble author, however, has not yet achieved such nirvana and recommends manual masturbation to supplement your anal aerobics. Upon orgasm, prepare to be drenched: a massaged prostate produces an incredible amount of ejaculate. Expect feelings of euphoria to follow!
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Book Review
Sensuous Magic: A Guide to S/M for Adventurous Couples, 2nd Ed., by Patrick Califia. Cleis Press, 2001.
The genius of Patrick Califia's work is that he is able to put into words what I have been thinking for years, but never quite able to articulate. For example: "We live in a culture that loathes genuine passion because it undercuts the commercial value of those trite, sexy images that sell cars and cosmetics." (p. 4) In one sentence, Califia has summed up countless minutes of my own rambling. And that is just one example from the early pages of a work where I had thought "Yes, of course," several times already. No matter what he is writing about, he is clear and passionate about the topic. This makes for a read full of those moments that click in your brain: when you know you've run across an idea that will fuel you in some way.
This book is specifically about BDSM (bondage, domination/discipline, sadomasochism) in its many expressions, for a variety of people who might want to play with each other. It's a second edition of a wildly popular book, and in this round Califia has expanded the language and the examples to include all sorts of people — couples, polyamorous folk, heterosexuals, queers, genderqueers, and lots more I'm leaving out. While it may be useful for long-time kinksters, Sensuous Magic is mainly written for those close to the start of their BDSM explorations. Basic terms are defined, and there's a good section on communication and negotiation. But there is also a chapter on various types of edge play, which aren't often covered in beginner's manuals. And while there is specific information, such as the section on "Types of Whips" or the chapter on how to develop a role preference, Califia pays a lot of attention to more general information, such as how to incorporate S/M into an already existing relationship, when to get counselling and how to meet others of your ilk for fucking or community. Or both. Possibly my favourite parts are the short fantasies included with each chapter. Well written and hot, Califia offers them as examples of what he's just been writing about. It puts the information that's come before into context, and spurs on the reader's own imagination.
Even if you've only ever flirted a bit with the thought of BDSM in your own life, I think this is a useful book to check out. It makes kinky sex seem real and normal. But not too normal, because breaking taboos is sexy. If you're looking for very specific and thorough techniques on flogging or spanking, say, I'd recommend a book dedicated to one of those subjects. But if you want sex positive, pansexual information about dominating or submitting to the person of your fantasies, Sensuous Magic will fill that need and then some.
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New Toys
Feeldoe Slim
double dildo, 100% silicone, electric blue only, $99.95 ($79.95 without Micro Mini)
The first vibrating double dildo. The Feeldoe Slim has a sweet spot for the Micro Mini vibe that sends the vibration into both the wearer and her loved one. Based on the same design as the popular Feeldoe, this double dil can be used without a harness.
Bullet Wand
vibrator, hard plastic, cream, $19.95
This toy combines the strength and variability of the silver bullet with a long handle that's easy to grip. With a slide control rather than a dial control, this toy is great for those with hand pain or mobility issues.
AI Bullet
vibe, hard plastic, silver only, $29.95
This small bullet is multi-speed and multi-functional. It fits wherever your Micro Mini fits, so if you have a MM compatible dildo or harness, you can increase the longevity of fun with this handy little toy.
Tidal G
vibe, soft plastic, aqua only, $32.95
Play with your g-spot in the waves! This vibe is quiet, mid-speed, and waterproof. The soft plastic is still firm enough to apply lots of pressure to your g-spot, and the bubbles at the base will provide friction for those who like deeper penetration.
Opus
vibe, hard plastic, purple or blue, $42.95
Yep, it's named after the cartoon penguin. Short and stubby, the Opus is multi-functional and powerful. Particularly good for women whose g-spots aren't too far in.
Slugger
vibe, hard plastic, purple or blue, $32.95
This vibrator is actually a gyrator. The gyrating motion gives this toy a thumpy power beyond anything we've felt before. Its simple design makes it good for clit or vaginal use.
Micro Twister
vibe, 100% silicone, storm blue, blue marble, red, black, silver, true blue, $69.95 ($49.95 without Micro Mini)
The Happy Valley Twister dildo now vibrates! All the same great g-spot or prostate action with buzzing to boot.
Honey Drop
vibe, jelly vinyl, yellow only, $34.95 ($14.95 without Micro Mini)
Pretty and cute! This sleeve spreads the Micro Mini vibrations out over a larger area.
Hummer
boy vibe, jelly vinyl, pink only, $34.95 (14.95 without Micro Mini)
This Micro Mini attachment cups the head of the penis and delivers insistent vibration all over.
Rub'a'Dub Dice
game, foam, purple only, $9.95
Just in time for swimming season! Two waterproof dice tell you what to do and on what part of the body to do it.
Embrace
board game, $39.95
This game was designed by a sex educator to help facilitate intimacy between players. You can play it on three different levels: Romantic, Sexual Intimacy, and Hot Sex. You reveal sexually intimate thoughts and feelings, and perform sensual challenges with one another.
JO Lube
lubricant,$8.95 (2.5 oz) or $12.95 (4.5 oz)
This lube actually lives up to the hype on the package. It really does give you a "silky, smooth feeling, that's never sticky or tacky." It's water-based, and also contains Vitamin E to soothe your chafed bits. It lasts for ages, and doesn't doesn't smell or taste like anything. If you're not prone to yeast infections, you should try this.
JO Massage "Oil"
massage product, lavender or unscented, $26.95 (4 oz)
A little goes a long, long way with this massage product. It doesn't evaporate or sink into the skin, which means you only need a very small amount to give a very long massage. Also, because it's silicone based, it's latex safe, so you don't have to worry about slipping right from massage to sex.
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Community Events
The Perpetual Motion Roadshow
Friday, May 21, 9 pm. Zibibbo (495 Somerset St. W, upstairs).
Free
Editor Emily Pohl-Weary, media tigress Carly Stasko, master ventriloquist Daniel Heath Justice, hammerin' superheroine Mariko Tamaki and other contributors to the anthology Girls Who Bite Back: Witches, Mutants,Slayers and Freaks (Sumach Press) will touch down in Ottawa THIS FRIDAY during their upcoming East Coast tour.
Joined by local karate girl painter ElizaGriffiths and monster hunter poet Sophie Levy.
Supergirl tunes provided by DJ Daisy and DJ Natasha
Grrrls Night Out
Feel like having a spring fling? On Saturday May 29th at 9 pm, get yourself to the Westboro Royal Canadian Legion for a women's dance. Get fit,raise funds for The Canadian Diabetes Association, and dance. Tickets are $10 and available in advance at mother tongue books and Venus Envy, or at the door - if there are any left! For more information, email melanie.porter@diabetes.ca.
Certain Sort
Come dance with us!
We're pleased to announce that another Certain Sort party is set to take place on Thursday June 10th. Certain Sort is an evening of dancing and lounging for the queer girls and transfolk of Ottawa that seeks to provide an alternative to the regular bar scene.
Once again the digs will be the ultra hip and cosy Camarillo Brillo Lounge above Zibibbo at 495 Somerset West (corner of Lyon). Also once again, DJ Daisy will be spinning her incredible selection of the best lady rock of the ages. The music was perfect last time and we anticipate the same this time around: soul and r&b divas, lady-fronted rock n roll, punk, hip hop and all things in between.
Doors open at 9pm and admission is free.
We hope you'll come and bring your friends.
Dyke March
Ottawa's first annual dyke march is gearing up to take place this year on Saturday July 10th. At noon, all dykes, trannies, bi-womyn, queer women of colour, rural lesbians, butches, femmes, bois, Sapphic goddesses, queer mamas, S/M dykes, punk dykes, sporty dykes, women who date women, bi-curious gals, label rejectors, gay women, homosexual ladies, pan-sexual women, queer gender fuckers, and women willing to be recruited will meet at the Human Rights Monument at Laurier and Elgin. From there, we will march across Laurier to Bank, then down bank to Somerset, and across Somerset to Percy, where we will make our way down to the McNabb Community Centre to meet up with official pride events. This route may change, so make sure you keep up with us! The Ottawa dyke march is a grassroots, non-corporate, accessible, inclusive, political, and fun event that aims to increase visibility for queer women and transfolk of all stripes. For more info, please email dykemarch@bust.com
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