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VenusNews » Ottawa
June 2005 . contents
- The Big News — Venus Envy Ottawa is moving!
- Summer Sale: July 9th
- Workshops with Midori
- Summer Workshops
- New products
- Product reviews
- Certain Sort
- Community Events
- Artists
We're moving to a bigger and better location!
As of September 2nd, Venus Envy will be located at 320 Lisgar Street (just off Bank St.). We think you'll love our new space, and this is why:- It's accessible: Venus Envy will now have the store and the seminar room all on one floor. There'll be no more stairs or ramps, so you can just come on in.
- It's bigger: not just a little bit bigger — a whole lot bigger. The new store is about three times the size of our current store, which means we can offer lots of new products including more DVDs, books, vibrators, and BDSM gear.
- There's parking: Yep, we'll now have parking. During business hours there are a couple of VE parking spaces, but after 5pm and on weekends you'll be able to park in our own little lot. And, parking is absolutely free. Lisgar Street also has lots of cheap meter parking for the overflow.
- It's a great location: some of you probably like that we're in the market, but many of you hate driving and parking down here. We've been listening and have come up with a solution that we hope suits everyone. Bank and Lisgar is very easy to get to from the Queensway, by local and transitway buses, and, of course, on foot. It's also surrounded by a great neighborhood full of cafes, bookstores, queer businesses, grocery stores, and restaurants. We're very excited about moving into such a distinctive and lively neighborhood, a place where lots of people work and live. We think this vibrancy will work well for Venus Envy.
All this means that we will be closed from 5pm on August 31 and all day September 1 to get moved and set up.
Help us out and get a chance to win a $50 gift certificate!
We're open for suggestions! Are there books you'd like to see in stock, or maybe some fancy new BDSM equipment? how about an idea for workshops you'd like to attend? Suggestions about our hours, our newsletter, our website — we want to hear what you want to tell us! Drop us a line and let us know what you think. We'll enter your name in a draw to win a $50 gift certificate to spend in our new store.Summer sale: July 9th, 11am-6pm
This was supposed to be a Pride sale but the festivities have been moved to the August 24th weekend. But we thought we'd have a sale anyway! There will be 20% off all dils, vibes, and butt toys, and 10% off all leather and BDSM gear. (This sale applies to in-stock merchandise.)Workshops with Midori
The one and only Fetish Diva Midori will be visiting us this summer to offer workshops on a variety of topics. Midori is former professional dominant, an educator, and a writer on SM, fetish, and human sexuality. Her publications include Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink, The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and her bondage-photography website Beauty Bound. Newcomers and experienced players alike can come out and learn a thing or two from an accomplished and celebrated mistress of the arts of kink.
Please see our workshops page for details about costs and registration.
| August 25, 2005 @ 7:00pm For everyone | Intro to Japanese and other Creative Rope Bondage Essentials |
| Rope bondage can be simple, elegant, effective and sensual. But if you don't know how to do it right, it can be dangerous. Midori will teach you how to use this most versatile bondage tool to maximize fun and minimize risks. Learn basic techniques such as two-column restraint, body harnesses and creative positions. She is an expert in safe and effective Japanese inspired rope bondage. There will be time for hands-on practice, so wear comfortable clothing. $25 per person ($15 students and seniors) 2 hours |
| August 28, 2005 @ 7:00pm For everyone | Make 'em Blush, Make 'em Squirm: Embarassment and Humiliation Play with Midori |
| Why do people get off on being embarrassed? What are the potential psychological ramifications? What’s different for a one-time scene vs. playing with your life partner? Emphasizing emotional safety throughout, Midori will explore a wide range of play from light teasing and embarrassment to serious humiliation. You may get a chance to volunteer for some mild play in front of the class. Is this a style of play you’ve struggled to understand? Or have you ever secretly wanted to be put on the spot or shown how really naughty you are? Then this class is for you!
$25 per person ($15 students and seniors) 2 hours |
| August 28, 2005 @ 3:00pm For everyone | The Art of Feminine Dominance with Midori |
| Elegance, power and confidence... Do you want to know how to be a dominant without being a bitch? How do you find a sexy and effective style of dominance? Fetish Diva Midori will share with you her secrets of the feminine art of dominance. She will discuss the psychology, politics, practical exercises, techniques, fashion and more. This class is not limited to a gender, but for all who harbor the powerful woman within! Something for everyone from the novice to the experienced player. $25 per person ($15 students and seniors) 2 hours |
Summer Workshops
Please see our workshops page for details about costs and registration.
| July 5, 2005 @ 6:15pm For everyone | Sex Toys 101: An Introduction to the Wonderful World of Toys |
| "What is it? What do I do with it? Where do I put it?" Anatomy, vibrators, dildos, lube and other slippery stuff: this workshop will give toy novices a chance to learn about different toys in a relaxed atmosphere. 1.5 hours |
| July 15, 2005 @ 7:00pm For couples | Sensual Massage for Couples |
| This workshop will teach the basics of sensual massage to enhance each partner's experience of touch, each other, and sensuality within their relationship. Participants will learn fundamental principles on how to give and receive an oil-based massage. Techniques to give a full-body massage will be demonstrated, and participants will have the opportunity to practice on one another's backs. Oils and creams will be provided, but participants must bring two sheets, towels, comfortable clothing and whatever they need to be comfortable working on the floor. This workshop is for couples of all genders and orientations.
With Sonia Osorio & David Altmann, www.zensations.ca $50/couple2.5 hours |
| July 16, 2005 @ 12:00pm For everyone | Sacred Sexuality: An Introduction to Tantra-Yoga |
| This workshop will situate the role of Tantra as a yogic discipline that encourages a body-positive approach to spirituality and sexuality, where the body is honored as a means to connect with the sacred. Through breathwork, pelvic-floor exercises and basic yoga postures, we'll explore how to be aware of the creative/sexual energy in our own and another's body. By being present, expressing our sensual needs, and having the willingness to explore, we can become not only better lovers but better human beings. This is a practical introductory workshop, where participants remained clothed throughout. Come prepared with loose comfortable clothing, a large towel and/or yoga mat, cushions or whatever you need to be at ease working on the floor. This class is open to individuals of all genders and orientations, with or without partners.
With Sonia Osorio & David Altmann, www.zensations.ca $20/person ($15 students and seniors)2 hours |
| July 18, 2005 @ 6:15pm For couples | I'm Coming! A Guide to Women' sOrgasm |
| Many women never experience orgasm, just as many can have orgasms once in awhile, or on their own, or never on their own, or ... you get the picture. The female orgasm can sometimes be rather elusive, and that can be ok, but it can also be very frustrating. This session will look at some of the reasonswomen have difficulty with orgasm, offer suggestions around play to enhance sexual feelings, as well as covering important anatomical information. Discussion includes g-spot, clitoris, and tips to use both alone and with a partner.
2 hours |
| July 19, 2005 @ 6:30pm For women | The New Bump and Grind: Dress up, Show off and Talk Hot! |
| Erotic dancing is all the rage right now and Venus Envy has created an interactive workshop along those lines. "The New Bump and Grind" will offer women a chance to explore sensual movement, sexy communication skills, and generally allow women to feel more comfortable being their sexiest selves. "The New Bump and Grind" is held in a cozy and comfortable space with fun props and no expectations. If you don't feel comfortable with the movements or exercises you can feel free to sit out and watch. Facilitated by Èmilie and Shari, who bring a fabulous combination of experiences including erotic modeling, dance experience and teaching, and a love of burlesque and showing off! $30 ($15 for students and seniors)2 hours |
| August 2, 2005 @ 6:15pm For everyone | Going Down: A Guide to Cunnilingus |
| This workshop will cover anatomy, technique, communication skills and tricks to please your lady with your lips. And tongue, and teeth, and ... 1.5 hours |
| August 9, 2005 @ 6:15pm For women | Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio |
| If you’re interested in licking boys' bits, but aren't sure where to start or what to do once you get going, this workshop is for you. From basic anatomy to tips for the advanced, this workshop will cover a wide range of information about giving head. 1.5 hours |
| August 11, 2005 @ 6:30pm For everyone | Radical Love Workshop |
| Loving openly and freely in these times, whether you are straight or queer, is a brave political act. We have been conditioned by outdated social norms that limit our perceptions and shackle us to unhealthy cycles of dissatisfying relationships. Yet we also live in a time when we can choose our gender and redefine our sexual identities. Don't we then have the right to decide what kind of relationship best suits our lifestyle? Declare yourself a revolutionary of the heart. Find out how you can expand your potential to love, transform your lifestyle, and together we can threaten the social forces of patriarchy!
Wendy-O Matik is the author of Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships. As an educator, role model, and spokesperson for the polyamory community, Wendy has become a revolutionary activist of the heart. Since the release of her book, she has taught over forty Radical Love & Relationship Workshops globally, excavating important social trends and reshaping the future of alternative relationship models for the 21st century. As an activist for social change, Wendy is pushing the boundaries on firmly rooted notions in mainstream society on relationships, love, gender, sexual equality, and sexual politics. 2 hours |
| August 21, 2005 @ 2:00pm For everyone | Radical Love Workshop |
| [see above] |
| September 6, 2005 @ 6:15pm For everyone | Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio |
| If you’re interested in licking boys' bits, but aren't sure where to start or what to do once you get going, this workshop is for you. From basic anatomy to tips for the advanced, this workshop will cover a wide range of information about giving head. 1.5 hours |
| September 13, 2005 @ 6:30pm For everyone | Writing To Seduce with Megan Butcher |
| Know what you want, but too shy to say it? Use words to sweep your lovely off their feet and into your favourite position. We’ll help you find terms that will turn you on, talk about different literary forms to pervert for your own erotic purposes, and give you tips on how to start the process. Come prepared to share advice and experience with the group. You may also bring one piece of writing (with SASE) to be edited by the workshop leader. (Note: Some very graphic language may be used.)
1.5 hours |
| September 20, 2005 @ 6:00pm For couples | Intro to Tantra for Couples |
| Explore lovemaking that is more than physical. Men learn the art of ejaculation mastery. Women learn to embrace their joyous sexual-sensual potential. Basic Tantric principles and practices help you take your connection to new heights. No sexually explicit exercises in class. Al Link and Pala Copeland, authors of Soul Sex: Tantra for Two have been practicing Tantra since 1987 and teaching since 1997. Extensive media coverage includes: the Wall Street Journal, the Sex Files, Playboy Radio, Fashion Magazine, and Canada AM. $40 per couple ($30 for students and seniors). For all couples.2 hours |
New Products
Lots of new Fun Kits for travelling or for bachelorette parties!12 Sexy Thrills Kit, $24.95
Includes 12 "surprise thrills" cards, feather tickler and sensual body bliss dust.
Naughty Travel Kit, $29.95
Includes warming massage oil, flavored lube, feather tickler, body bliss balm, blindfold, tea lights, and a handy guide.
Dirty Weekender Kit, $34.95
Includes bliss balm, chocolate massage oil, sizzling body candy, sensual bondage tie, candles, and sexy game cards.
Product reviews
The Spank! Cock Ring
Reviewed by Leatherman
Reprinted from Bleu Review (www.bleureview.com)
"One size fits all" — that is, if you are one of three sizes: Setting 1 (8 inches), Setting 2 (7 inches) and setting 3 (6 inches). I am between Setting 2 and Setting 3 on the Spank! cock ring, but found that I could get away with either, using the looser setting for tease play and tightening it up as the action got more intense.
As with any snaps around the genital area you need to watch out for hair while adjusting the cock ring to your appropriate size. A shaving scene would be a good warm-up (in exchange for the price of a blow job!) because when the snaps get you by the short and curlys they are more than just annoying. When trying to adjust the tension I felt a little pinch which could have been avoided by holding the skin back with one finger as the leather slides through the metal to the next snap.
New leather is a little stiff to start with, but as the Spank! ring warmed up to my body it became quite comfortable. Wearing a tight pair of jeans, however, brought my focus back, and every time I stood up or switched positions I was aware of my constricted groin. Even on Setting 1, I could still feel the heat rising and the juices flowing. I hope everyone gets the exquisite feeling that I do when I put on a piece of leather, no matter how small! (they don't call me Leatherman for nothing!). The quality of this leather is very good—it is one piece of thick leather (maybe buffalo hide?) and not the typical two pieces of dress leather sewn together. This allows the leather to breathe, so you can wear it for a long time and even dance with it on with less chance of developing a rash.
The square metal loop can be either worn on top of the cock or behind the balls, but I'm still not sure which I prefer. Worn on top you need to watch out for hitting your teeth on the metal when giving a BJ. However, this is the most visually appealing, especially when fucking, and who's going to care when you are that far along anyway? If going for visual effect, only Setting 3 looks good with the metal loop under the balls. It is the easiest position to adjust the snaps in because you are pulling up, not pushing down and the mechanics are not hidden by your own hands.
The Spank! Cock ring is very functional. You need not worry about applying lube before you slip it on (unlike solid metal or rubber rings) and you can easily adjust the tension. With a quick snap you can tighten or loosen the ring depending on whether you are pumped up and waiting at the bar or in a "I got to keep that cock hard for the next three minutes 'til I come" mode. Remember, you can come several times in one night and although the first one is quick, this cock ring will help you stand hard and tall for the rest of them.
Redefining our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships. By Wendy-O-Matik. (Oakland, CA: Defiant Times, 2002. 93 pages.)
Reviewed by Steve McCullough
This heartfelt text is equal parts emotional manifesto and practical guide to living in non-monogamous (or "polyamorous" or "poly" or "open") relationships. Both aspects are important: it takes passionate motivation to face the intricate logistics and social disdain that can result from multiple partnering. Redefining our Relationships celebrates the radicalism and the courage involved in choosing to pursue loving relationships beyond couple-hood, and does so on staunchly unapologetic terms. It is largely aimed at a like-minded audience: if you are already interested or involved in living poly, you may find this book a source of support and inspiration, but don't count on it convincing the skeptical that non-monogamy is a good idea.
Beginning with the chapter "Confronting Jealousy," Redefining our Relationships addresses concrete issues of trust and personal space, and dispenses some excellent advice about making non-monogamy work day-to-day. The "Guidelines" chapter, for instance, presents some very direct and useful advice about boundaries and communication — including "Revise and re-define all boundaries regularly" and "Rivals are not allowed" — that would be well applied in any relationship, polyamorous or otherwise. The subsequent chapters, "Conflict Strategies" and "Some of Us Have Kids" (the latter guest-written), also offer detailed advice clearly drawn from experience that is intended to help the non-monogamous through the challenges of disagreement and the responsibilities of child-rearing. Redefining our Relationships nicely avoids becoming didactic in its advising, in part by including illustrative stories and quotations from the varied lives of non-monogamous men and women throughout. The text ends with advice on sharing a lover with a partner and chapters that return to matters of possibility, fear (featuring a very judicious discussion of "coming out" as poly), and love, thereby moving on from pragmatic details to conclude on a note of cautionary celebration.
There are longer, larger, and more detailed books on polyamory, but none of them sets out to be a personal cheering section in quite the way this one does; Wendy-O-Matic quite explicitly writes to celebrate non-monogamous intimacy rather than defend or explain it. Redefining our Relationships aspires to be a political tract as well as an emotional one, but doesn't carry that goal off particularly well, in that it paints a naively heroic picture of non-monogamists resisting vaguely-defined forces of oppression with the power of love. There's a grain of truth in this description, but it just can't help but sound vaguely adolescent, like a Harlequin romance about star-crossed lovers or Henry Rollins on a bad day. This version of "the personal is political" does, however, emphasize the particular difficulties that beset the polyamorous: our culture is so pervaded by emotional and ethical norms based on heterosexual pairing that notions of non-exclusive love and fidelity can be very difficult to articulate, let alone praise. So the opening chapters, albeit uncritical, offer a salutary celebration of non-traditional intimacies that are so commonly ignored, insulted, or dismissed that it can be difficult for folks with non-monogamous aptitudes to reconcile their expansive desires with the strait romantic possibilities culturally mandated for them.
The author tends to shoot from the hip, and writes out of her own admittedly unusual perspective as someone who has always been non-monogamous. Her confidence is inspiring and reassuring, but the text tends to feel more insistent than persuasive. It rushes through many topics entirely too quickly, making me, at least, wish that some paragraphs had been fleshed out into whole chapters. I found myself quite often wanting more specifics, structure, and background, especially in the opening chapters, where she dispenses less-than-helpful advice such as "Make it up as you go along" (11) as she praises the revolutionary possibilities of love. I hate to pull on grammarian's jackboots, but the text could use a fair bit of editing for clarity and correctness. There are quite a few clumsy and confusing sentences and paragraphs, and between such distracting errors and the hit-and-run discussion, some of the more interesting claims just don't hang together very well. Redefining our Relationships doesn't, however, really intend to argue a detailed case for or about open relationships, but to inspire interested or practicing polyamorists and to give them some very helpful direction along the way. And Wendy-O-Matik's experience, confidence, and enthusiasm make her worth heeding.
Certain Sort
Certain Sort, an occasional evening for queer girls and trans people, was held at Shanghai restaurant on June 4th. Thanks to DJs Gitanjali and Daisy and to all who came out to support the dyke march and to have fun. We raised $244 for the dyke march, and had 90 people come through the door.The next Certain Sort will be in September, date to be annouced. If you'd like to get occasional updates about Certain Sort, drop us a line at ottawa@venusenvy.ca to be added to the the mailing list.
Community events
Women's Boat Cruise
July 16th, 8pm-midnight
$25.00 includes dancing, prizes, and snacks
Presented by Sweet Seduction. Tickets available at Sweet Seduction, Venus Envy, and Mother Tongue Books. More information available at www.ottawagirl.com.
Women's Voices Festival
July 22-24th
Created by women, entirely for women, and featuring Marigold, Laura Smith, and Sister Funk. More information available at www.womensvoices.on.ca. Visit the Venus Envy table at Women's Voices for tax-free toys and other fun stuff!
Ottawa Leather Fest
August 26-28th
A weekend-long event presented by the Great North American Wolf Society. The leather fest includes kinky kareoke, screening of My Leather Jacket 2, and a "Leather, Kink and Fetish" Boat Cruise. Tickets are $45 for the whole weekend. More information and tickets available at www.prideottawa.com/leatherfest.php.
Ottawa Dyke March
Here's a note from the organizers:
Calling all dykes, trannies, bi-womyn, queer women of colour, rural lesbians, butches, femmes, bois, Sapphic goddesses, queer mamas, S/M dykes, sporty lesbians, punk dykes, FTMs, women who date women, bi-curious gals, label rejectors, gay women, homosexual ladies, pan-sexual women, women willing to be recruited.....and more!Dyke March Ottawa is gearing up to take place this year on Saturday August 27th at 1:30pm. We will meet at City Hall at Laurier and Elgin and from there, we will march west on Laurier to Bank, then down Bank to Gladstone, across Gladstone to Elgin, up Elgin to Lewis, where we will make our way down to the Jack Purcell Community Centre to take part in after-march events. This route may change, so make sure you keep up with us! Dyke March Ottawa is a grassroots, non-corporate, accessible, inclusive, political, and fun event that aims to increase visibility for queer women and transfolk of all stripes. For more info, please email dykemarchottawa@yahoo.ca or visit our website at http://www.annelies.ca/ottawadykemarch/
Artists
July and August
Owen Tuf is a fibre artist living and working in Wakefield, Quebec. Her
artmaking largely involves sculptural installations that offer tools as
images that encourage us to follow a path of spirit. This exhibition
features smaller drawings exploring what it means to stay connected — to
the people in our lives, to the cultural and natural world around us, to
ourselves.
