VenusNews » Ottawa
August 2006
- Store News
- Toy Review: Escalator
- Book Review: The Straight Girls Guide To Sleeping With Chicks
- Store Events
- Workshops
- Community Events
- Art!
Store News
Pride sale at Venus Envy
Saturday August 26th
11am—7pm
Sexy Summer Sale!
Venus Envy Bursary Society
http://www.venusenvy.ca/Ottawa/bursary.asp
Toy Review
Escalator
Reviewed by Maggie Haywood
First off, let me say I'm a big fan of vibrating cock-rings. As one of the 70-odd percent of women who don't get rubbed exactly the right way during penetrative sex—or at least not enough to get off—I'm totally in favour of these little gizmos that offer a little hands-free clitoral buzz. The Escalator has a lot to offer the vibe cock-ring connoisseur. It's not only multi-speed, but multi-function: with 8 different pulse & vibration patterns that each have 8 speeds, that's 64 different settings to choose from —about 60 more channels than I get on my TV! There's also the nifty feature of "resume play from last stop", so that if you turn the vibe off it remembers your setting for next time. Handy.
The shape of the Escalator is also a plus; unlike many vibe rings that hold a vibrating bullet horizontally across your clit, this one holds the bullet vertically so your have a full 2" or so to rub against. I'm happy to report the Escalator is, indeed, fun to ride up and down.
My only complaint with this toy is too much of a good thing. The little bullet that powers the Escalator is super-super-duper. Way too much for me, even on the lowest setting. In my experience, vibe rings and other rings that offer a bit of clitoral rub often work well with the one who wants her clit rubbed on top, thus able to control movement, contact, etc. But with this little vibe buzzing away, it was like trying sit comfortably on a very angry bee! Bzzzz! I did come quicker than I ever have in my life, but I'm not so sure that's a good thing, since it was all over way too fast to enjoy it...
Bottom line: an awesome toy for girls who like a lot of buzz, but not for the faint of clit.
Book Review
The Straight Girls Guide To Sleeping With Chicks
New York: Fireside, 2005. 294 pp.
Reviewed by Shannon Pringle
I confess to have a weakness for a good sex guide book, regardless of its target audience. Knowledge is powerful, hot, sexy, and if your head accompanies your desire into the bedroom you are probably going to have a good time. So it was with sheer delight that I happened upon my most recent sexual-how-to manual, The Straight Girl's Guide To Sleeping With Chicks, by Jen Sincero, for here was a book that was neither exclusively heterosexual nor lesbian but addressed some of the grey area on the sexual spectrum. Yes, this is a hip, frank, fun, sexy, sex positive guide for all the curious, questioning, bisexual women out there. From the title on in, the author, a self-described straight girl who has slept with chicks, attempts to give women permission to step outside of their heterosexual experience and enthusiastically explore the world of girl-on-girl sex, yet liberates them from the need to redefine or label themselves as straight, bisexual, lesbian etc.
Sincero weaves her personal experience, hundreds of interviews, and research from numerous sex guide books, erotica, novels, films, porn, on-line sex stores, good websites, and high quality sex stores into a refreshing style that is sex positive, honest, humorous and punctuated with unashamed colorful language. It reminded me of having a good sex conversation with a close friend. Her chapter on masturbation, titled "The Super- Huge Importance of Sticking Your Hand Down Your Pants," is an empowering section for being your own best sex partner anytime, anywhere, complete with accurate anatomy and tips for getting off in public places without anyone noticing. The information on safer sex, lube and sex toys are current, accurate and contain frisky ideas for use while having sex with girls along with purchasing tips. She enthusiastically incorporates anal play, anal sex and strap-on-sex into the vast arena of female sexual pleasure. The diagrams of sexual positions will amuse anyone who grew up playing with Barbie and the text is punctuated with highlighted tips for sleeping with chicks, vocabulary builders and sleeping with chicks old wives' tales. Sincero's chapter, "Oh My God, She Wants Me to Eat Her Pussy" is as much a guide to cunnilingus as it is as it is a call for women to get over their own discomfort with their own vulvas. I love the line on page 122 that reads: "Our capacity to believe our pussies are nasty is up there with believing we're too fat or too stupid." Her chapter on threesomes, regardless of gender, contains some useful questions that perhaps should be pondered before making this popular fantasy a reality.
Sincero brings forth a number of important points that I shall paraphrase and add my two cents:
- Identifying yourself as straight, bisexual or lesbian has as much to do with how you go about in the in the world and what is between your ears as it does with who you prefer to have sex with.
- Sex with girls is still sex. This is important as our heterocentric culture still largely defines “sex” as penis in vagina and undervalues any other kind of female sexual experience.
- Education is the best way to combat performance anxiety and after that trust your instinct.
- Having sex with anyone, female or male, that you are not attracted to, is not going to lend itself to a satisfying sexual experience, and having sex with a woman for the soul purpose of turning on a man perhaps should be examined more closely. Only have sex with women because you really want to, because you find them sexy, hot and they make you wet when you meet them.
My only issues with this book, and these easily lend themselves to further discussion, are the following: The first is the author's repeated encouragement for using alcohol to break the ice and to dissolve one's inhibitions and first-time jitters when seeking a female sex partner. I passionately disagree with this advice as being drunk or high for the first time with a new sex partner leads to risky sexual behavior and gives a person permission to be irresponsible for their own sexual desire or an excuse if the experience wasn't what they expected. I think it is important to be responsible for and to own your own sexual desire as an empowering part of who you are. The second is that though I understand the authors desire to avoid labels and the issues that go along with them, and I whole heartedly support the right to self identify, if a straight girl sleeps with a chick, discovers that she enjoys sex with women, continues to enjoy sex with women and still enjoys sex with men doesn't that make her bisexual and no longer a straight girl who sleeps with chicks?
Store Events
Free Workshop for Pride!
We've modified our very popular Sex Toys 101 workshop to make this class specific to women lovin' women. We've taken out the boy toys and added info about harnesses, double dils, and safer lesbian sex. Open to all women who have sex (or want to have sex) with other women, regardless of your identity.
No pre-registration necessary—come early to get a seat!
Monday August 21
6:30pm
1.5 hours
Toys for Gay Boys—Free
This is a free workshop to celebrate Ottawa Pride! No pre-registration, just come early for a good seat.
Facilitated by sex ed boys, Mike Hickey and Steve McCullough
Wednesday August 23
7:30pm
1.5 hours
at Venus Envy
Reading Out Loud!
Join us as Ottawa famous and infamous queer folks share their favourite stories from their coming out years.
Readers this year include Megan Butcher, Mike Hickey, Simmi Dixit, Gareth Kirkby and many more
This is a free event.
Thursday August 24th at 8pm
Store-sponsored Event
Divergence Movie Night
Library Main branch
$5 suggested donation
Tuesday August 22 at 7pm
All ages
Queer Coffee House to follow the film
Bridgehead at Bank and Albert
9-10pm
All ages
Divergence and Certain Sort presents Full Frontal
Music by CPI and others, sexy performances every hour on the hour!
Friday August 25th
9:30 – 1am at Club Saw
ticket $5 in advance at Venus Envy and $7 at the door
This is a fundraiser for the Venus Envy Bursary Society, Divergence, and Capital Pride
19+
Divergence Movie Night
Double Bill. The Salt Mines explores the lives of three Latino transvestites who for years have lived on the streets of Manhattan supporting their drug addictions through prostitution. Two-Spirit People is an overview of historical and contemporary Native American concepts of gender, sexuality and sexual orientation.
September 12 at 7pm
Free admission, $5 suggested donation.
Main Branch Library, Metcalfe and Laurier
Workshops
| Aug. 21, 2006 6:30pm |
Sex Toys 101 for Queer Girls cost: $0.00 (no sliding scale) audience: women » details |
| Aug. 23, 2006 7:30pm |
Toys for Gay Boys cost: $0.00 (no sliding scale) audience: men » details |
| Aug. 29, 2006 6:30pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Sep. 13, 2006 7:30pm |
Take That! An Introduction to BDSM cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Sep. 18, 2006 6:30pm |
Alternative Menstrual Care cost: $5.00 (no sliding scale) audience: women » details |
| Sep. 19, 2006 7:00pm |
Intro to Tantra for Couples cost: $40.00 (no sliding scale) audience: couples » details |
| Oct. 3, 2006 6:30pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: women » details |
| Oct. 12, 2006 7:30pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Cunnilingus cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Oct. 14, 2006 7:30pm |
Demystifying Tantra-Yoga cost: $25.00 (no sliding scale) audience: everyone » details |
| Oct. 15, 2006 6:30pm |
Sensual Massage for Couples cost: $25.00 (no sliding scale) audience: couples » details |
| Oct. 17, 2006 6:30pm |
Erotic Talk - Talking Dirty for Women cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: women » details |
| Nov. 1, 2006 8:00pm |
Erotic Role Play with Midori cost: $25.00 (limited income $15.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Nov. 2, 2006 8:00pm |
Essential Shibari: Fundamentals of Erotic Japanese Rope Bondage cost: $25.00 (limited income $15.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Nov. 6, 2006 6:30pm |
I'm Coming! A Guide to Women' s Orgasm cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: women » details |
| Nov. 13, 2006 6:30pm |
Strap-On Tools! cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
| Nov. 21, 2006 6:30pm |
Going Down: A Guide to Fellatio cost: $20.00 (limited income $10.00) audience: everyone » details |
Community Event
Take Back the Night
Rally at the Women's Monument at Minto Park (Elgin and Gilmour)
Thursday, September 28
6:30pm
Store Event
Art
Rock Out with Your Cock Out
A photography exhibit by Kenji Toyooka and Philip Steiner, "Rock Out with Your Cock Out: Femininity and the Phallus" was begun as a multimedia project to accompany DJ CPI's (Caitlyn Pascal) latest musical montage.The exhibit features fifteen playful portraits exploring the intersections of femininity, sexuality and the phallic symbol. It's a show dedicated to the women who can rock out with their cocks out, and everyone who loves them.
The images will be on display at Venus Envy for two months beginning the 21st of August. Limited edition prints will also be available for sale.
Join the artists and participants for a gala celebration of the project, the music, and the show Friday September 8th at 9pm.
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