Ottawa store (613) 789-4646

All toys on sale:
10% off December 27!
20% off December 28!!
30% off December 29!!!

And all week we're having have a huge WAREHOUSE SALE:
Hundreds of quality silicone and leather toys from $5—$50. Don't miss it!

New Tantus Toys
It seems everyone is getting in on the 100% silicone in super soft density. Tantus has a couple of toys available in what they're calling O2 material that combines a soft exterior with a firm core.
The Cascade vibrator has gentle ribs and measures 7.5 inches long and 1.5 wide: $119.95
The Revolution is a hefty dildo with a pronounced head and veined shaft. 7.5 inchs long and 2 inches wide: $119.95

Do you tremble in fear when you see a lady or gentleman to your liking? Are you struck dumb by the mere presence of beauty?

Worse yet, do you forge ahead, willy nilly, with no plan or consideration, and thus ruin all your chances at wooing and winning your beloved?

Ms. Manners and Ms. Etiquette are here to calm your nerves with sage and practical advice as they present their tract "A Guide to the Mannerly Wooing and Winning of the Object of Your Affection."

Venus Envy, 320 Lisgar @ Bank
Saturday November 25th, 8 pm — TONIGHT!
PWYC

"[An] almost encyclopedic tour de force." – David Scrimshaw

"Wow, they're really polite. But firm." – Ruby Woo

Friday December 1, 2006 at Shanghai on Somerset
10pm—2am
$5, tickets available at the door.

A dance party and lounge for all kinds of queers. Music by CPI and Eric Roberts. All proceeds to the Venus Envy Bursary Fund.

"Existing as they have for centuries, the Eunuchs (or Hijra) are considered the third gender, neither men nor women. Harsh Beauty follows over a period of 3 years the lives of Jyothi, Usha and hira bai, three Eunuchs who live openly as women, and want to be accepted for what they truly believe themselves to be. Set against the vibrant energy of the Indian metropolis, it takes a glance into a society rarely seen and often misunderstood."

Tuesday December 12th
7pm at SAW Gallery, 67 Nicholas
Free admission, $5 suggested donation.
http://www.thetastates.com/dmn/

Brief Encounters: A Woman's Guide to Casual Sex
By Emily Dubberley
London, UK: Fusion Press, 2005. 259 p.

Reviewed by: Shannon L. D. Pringle

Casual Sex! We toss this ambiguous term around with great ease, yet rarely define it. What does it mean? Does it mean the same thing to everybody? Does it mean that they don't make you breakfast in the morning? Does it mean you don't ask for their name? It was my last experience with casual sex that sent me running for our bookstore. After years of relationship sex, I had naively jumped into a game where I didn't know the rules or how to negotiate them. The culture had changed during my period of serial monogamy and I needed to catch up. I pulled Emily Dubberley's Brief Encounters: The Woman's Guide to Casual Sex from the bookshelf and embarked on my re-education.

I am drawn to books that give women permission to explore aspects of their sexuality in an unapologetic, unashamed, sex- positive manner, and this is one of those books. In our culture of sexual double standards, the more confident women feel to act on their sexual desires without shame and guilt, the better. However, it is important to note that Brief Encounters takes a heterocentric approach to casual sex, so if you're a women whose interest lies in having casual sex with women, then I recommend The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks (reviewed last newsletter) or the On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex instead.

Emily Dubberley launches us into the world of casual sex by posing the very important question "Are Brief Encounters for You?" With a light-hearted approach, she asks a number of pointed questions and dispels a few myths to encourage the reader to establish what they are looking for from casual sex. In summary: if you are looking for anything more than a good "shag", and if you don't deal well with "false intimacy and regular rejection", casual sex may not be for you, and there's no shame in that. Her language and tone are frisky and the text is spiked with British terms, like "shag", "pull", "knickers" and "bloke" which reminded me of my favorite British comedies.

Brief Encounters broadly and briefly introduces the reader to a number of useful sexual techniques and sexual requests that one may encounter in pursuing casual sex. It is important to establish your physical and emotional sexual boundaries before engaging in any kind of sex, so if something captivates your interest yet also makes you feel apprehensive, consider reading books specific to the topic. I am always interested in what sex manuals include and what they leave out, depending on the specific audience. I was pleased that Dubberley had the gumption to write a section on "Self-fisting: less scary than it sounds" in the chapter on masturbation and "Take it like a man: strap on sex" found in the "anal play" section of the "How to Be the Best Lover Ever" chapter. She also touches on a number of aspects of BDSM "lite". There is an excellent section on how to insist on safer sex and what to put in your "brief encounter kit" so you are always prepared to have sex, protect yourself and arrive at the office in the morning still wearing last night's outfit.

The core of Brief Encounters, however, is contained in the chapters "Casual Type Relationships" and the "Morning After". In the former, Dubberley defines and outlines a number of casual sex relationships like "one night stands", "fuck-buddies", "sex with an ex", "escorts", "bi-curiosity", "cheating" "being a mistress", and "casual relationships". Though I can think of a number of other "casual type" relationships, this is a good place to start. Along with defining these relationships, Dubberly gives tips on how to find them, where to go and what to do. She includes pros and cons of each type of relationship and emphasizes physical safety, in terms of avoiding STIs and dangerous situations at all times. She also draws attention to the emotional risks or the potential to fall in love in a number of these casual type relationships, cautioning the reader to be aware of their expectations when engaging in a various kinds of casual sex. The book is peppered with anecdotes of people's brief encounters, some positive, some negative, and some humorous. "The Morning After" contains a number of shameless approaches to getting out of brief encounters with dignity and respect. She touches on what to do if you can't remember their name, what to do if the beer goggles you had on last night resulted in you having sex someone you might not have chosen otherwise, what to do if they want something more and you do not, and what to do you want something more.

My only issues with Brief Encounters, and I have seen this in other sex-positive guides aimed at women partnering with men, is the mixed message that it is acceptable to engage in non-verbal sexual communication, but it is somehow undesirable to come right out and say it. Depending on the chemistry you have with the person you are attracted to, the words "when I met you I wanted to shag you" can be the most potent utterance you make. Another point that Dubberly makes that contradicts the overall sex-positive tone of the book is when she notes (in an otherwise great chapter on masturbation) that "Female masturbation is cool and something that gives blokes the horn, but they probably don't want to think that your entire life is devoted to it." As a promoter of the idea that you are your own best sex partner, I believe there is nothing shameful about engaging in masturbation as much as you desire and if someone asks you about it there's no harm in being honest.

As for casual sex I will say this about it: it is a gamble. Sex can be disarming, and one can go into a brief encounter with a non-relational attitude only to discover that between the chemistry, the connection and the disclosure you have with the other person, there is nothing casual about it. That is the chance you take!

The Monologues are a part of an international movement (V-Day) put on by community groups and schools to raise money and awareness about violence against women. (For more information, see www.vday.org). Last year the event was a huge success and together with a large network of women from all over the community (including two members of the Canadian Senate), the Ottawa production of the Vagina Monologues were able to raise over $20,000 for the Sexual Assault and Support Centre of Ottawa (SASC).

This year we hope to build on last year's success and raise even more awareness and money which will benefit not only a local organization but also local women's groups in the developing world who are engaged in supporting the victims of sexual assault in the name of conflict.

WE NEED ACTORS! If you are interested in auditioning (very-VERY-NON-formal), please email ottawavday@gmail.com. You don't need to prepare
anything and you do not need to have any previous acting experience!

We have audition dates for Sunday, November 26 (2:00-5:00 pm) and Tuesday, November 28 (6-8:30 pm) at the Bronson Centre, (211 Bronson Ave). Please email ottawavday@gmail.com to schedule an audition. There are a number of different ways to get involved in this event other than acting, so please email if you are interested in participating in any way at all!

Please see www.ottawavday.ca for more info.

HARPER'S SILENCE = DEATH
Join the AIDS Committee of Ottawa to Speak Out! Tell Harper it's Time to Deliver!

At the international AIDS Conference last August, the Harper Government first scheduled, and then at the last minute postponed, a major announcement on Canada's commitment to international and national AIDS programs. Four months later we are still waiting. In the meantime thousands of people around the world have died from lack of treatment and thousands more have been infected.

Join us at the Eternal Flame on Parliament Hill On World AIDS Day, Friday December 1st at 10.30am

For more information, please contact the AIDS Committee of Ottawa at: (613) 238-5014

Sun, Dec 31 / 9pm-2am
1505 Carling Ave, Main level
(just west of the 417 - Carling exit)

Champagne, party favors, door prizes, great food and awesome 'DJ Heather'. Proceeds to the Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre and the Ten Oaks Project. This is a licensed event (19+). Sponsored by Elise J. Hallewick, Barrister & Solicitor, Notary Public, Certified Mediator.

Tickets: $25 (limited space available)
Available through our friends at:
Wilde's: 367 Bank st. 613-234-5512
Venus Envy: 320 Lisgar st. 613-789-4646
Mother Tongue Books: 1067 Bank st.613-730-2346

These paintings are the latest endeavour in my quest to cram as much art and fun into my life as possible. These simple pieces are inspired by the women in my life, all of whom are strong and sexy in their own way. Acrylic, chalk and crayon on canvas/medium density fibreboard.

Colorly playful, mixed media original artwork by Ashley Stevens.
January 2—February 28th
Vernisage Thursday January 4th at 8pm

» Site Map «

Venus Envy is a work in progress. Please let us know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns that can help us improve our web site or our stores.

© 2006-2009 venus envy, inc.
(some of our content is licensed for non-commercial use)

 

Fabulous Deals! «
popular items «
new items «
item reviews «