Ottawa store (613) 789-4646

Venus Envy has been in Ottawa for 7 years!
Cupcakes! Prizes! Free Gifts! Sale!
20% off all toys (leather excluded), free gift with $50 purchase, enter to win fabulous prizes, and yummy treats.
January 26th
11am-7pm

Started in 2006, the Venus Envy Bursary Fund awards two people in the Ottawa area each a $1000 bursary. The bursary is awarded based primarily on need but also community involvement and other criteria. Starting in 2008, the bursary will be open to all women and trans people studying in Ottawa at any level of education. You can find an application for September 2008 at www.venusenvy.ca/bursary

We raise funds in lots of ways. We throw parties and run the concession stand at Divergence Movie nights. We sell zines, pussy pops, and Venus Envy t-shirts at the store. We also donate 5% of in-store sales on the first Monday of each month. Or, you can mail us a cheque payable to the Venus Envy Bursary Fund...thanks!

Any questions about the bursary fund can be forwarded to ottawa@venusenvy.ca

The Bring a Bag and Save campaign was a huge success! Most of you chose not to take a bag over the past few months, cutting back our bag usage by about 80%. For the rest of 2008, we'll donate 5 cents to the Venus Envy Bursary Fund every time you just say no to a bag!

Every Friday, sex educator and author Patrick Califia answers a question from our customers on the Venus Envy website as the Venus Envy Advisor. This is a very popular feature of our site, but we thought it would be fun to bring you the 'best of' every newsletter. The letter below was our favorite from the past couple of months—enjoy!

Dear Patrick,

I can no longer have an orgasm by clitoral stimulation. Touching it hurts! I am getting off just fine when my partner fucks me, but masturbation or oral sex are no longer pleasurable. I had an operation to remove a cyst on my ovary. Could this cause problems with my clitoris? I don't see how, but this is the only major thing that's changed in my life. My partner really knows how to work my G-spot, and I love penetration, but we are both pretty inventive in bed, and he's bummed out. Me too. Any ideas?

— Crabby Clit


Dear Crabby Clit,

If you are prone to ovarian cysts, you may have a medical condition that causes your body to have higher than normal levels of testosterone. Your clitoris could be in pain because it is growing. Have your doctor check your hormone levels. I would also get tested for infections that might affect your clitoris as well as your vagina. You can get a case of thrush (yeast overgrowth) under the clitoral hood, and the little man in a boat might be affected by bacteria, Chlamydia, herpes, genital warts, or trichomoniasis. Your partner should use gloves and condoms until you make sure you don't have anything transmissible.

If you are waxing or shaving your pussy, you might want to take a break and see if that helps. Did you get an extra-strong vibrator recently? If so, use it over a layer of fabric instead of directly on your clit. You could be having an allergic reaction to shampoo, soap, or cosmetics. Make sure you are wearing cotton underwear, and wash your clothes in a hypoallergenic detergent. (No bleach, please.) Don't douche with commercial solutions—they are too harsh and can irritate your sensitive vulva.

Another potential culprit is lubricant. Some women develop a sensitivity to one of the many ingredients in lube. Glycerin is a common irritant. Nonoxynol-9 will set just about anybody's parts on fire, as well. Check with your local women's sex shop or website and order an allergy-free lubricant. Oh, and here's a last-minute news flash: I personally can't tolerate oral sex if my partner has brushed his teeth. That minty-fresh toothpaste that makes his mouth feel so fresh and lovely does nothing good at all to my nether regions. Mouthwash too.

Love and love taps,
YOUR ADVISOR
Patrick Califia

Patrick Califia is a widely published author and a marriage and family therapist who practices in San Francisco, California.

Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation
by Jamye Waxman
Seal Press, 2007

Reviewed by Megan Butcher
www.asteroideapress.com

A good masturbation book is a handy thing to have. For years, the standbys have been Sex For One (Betty Dodson) and For Yourself (Lonnie Barbach). Both are good books, and have their fans. Sex For One often reads more like a polemic on how to live a romantic life with yourself than a how-to, though it certainly has tips as well. For Yourself is written by a therapist, and it shows in the exercises the comforting tone. These books are both good as choices, but as the only choices? A third couldn't hurt.

And Getting Off doesn't. But it could have helped more.

Waxman worked at Babeland (an educational sex store) for five years, the chapters where she discusses toys are by far the strongest. Most helpful are the reviews of a good selection of toys with detailed but not too wordy explanations. She also names the manufacturer for each toy. This may seem like a small detail, but it will get you the toy you want much faster, no matter if you're walking into a local store or browsing online.

She also does a credible job of placing masturbation in its cultural context. Though I might have put the chapters dealing with this at the beginning rather than the end, it's important to understand the ways in which masturbation has been understood and considered taboo. While not guide-book material, per se, this history is an important piece of the puzzle.

Her chapter on masturbation techniques is likewise good. She offers a lot of ideas and encourages women to get creative with them. I liked "The Beginner Basics" section (p. 52) particularly: the drawings are cute, and it's a great basic template for either learning how to touch yourself for the first time, or pulling yourself out of a masturbation rut.

Before she gets into techniques, however, she discusses anatomy, and for me, this is the biggest problem in the book. First, there are only two labeled diagrams in this book. They're both tiny, and the first one places the fourchette in the wrong spot (p. 16). Second, I've been a sex educator for many years, and have read a lot of guides without confusion. So if I'm reading along and thinking "Rectum? Does she really mean rectum? Maybe she means anus? Maybe the rectum has moved?" (e.g. p. 37) I tend to believe the clarity of the writing is at fault.

The tone of the writing is the main difference between Getting Off and its predecessors. The tone may suit you, or may not. It is frank and playful. It is also self-consciously arch in a way I found occasionally excruciating: "John Lennon may have been a dreamer, and he's not the only one, but not every woman devotes time and attention to her imagination" (p. 162). It actually made me groan out loud.

Even with its faults, it's not a bad book. If you want to learn how get yourself off or just expand your horizons, it's well worth your time to pick Getting Off up off the shelf, take a browse, and see if it suits your fancy.

"Inside Boystown is an intimate portrait of the lives of six male prostitutes who work the streets in Vancouver's chic Yaletown district. It blends interviews with the boys with commentary from three support workers who explain the dynamics of male street prostitution: Paul Harris, a street nurse who specializes in working with high risk youth, Sandy Cooke, the executive director of Covenant House Vancouver and Christopher Graham, the director of the Ministry of Children and Families Safe House and Detox programs. The film provides an honest and forthright look at a commonly hidden aspect of contemporary society."
Presented with AIDS Committee Ottawa!
Doors 7pm, movie 7:30pm at Club SAW, 67 Nicholas
February 12th, 2008
Free admission, $5 suggested donation.
flyer: http://divergencemovienight.com

Stand Together is the first comprehensive documentary on the gay liberation movement in Ontario, Canada. It draws together a rich body of documents, images and rarely seen archival footage with dramatizations and interviews, to bring to life a story of justice denied and victories won, outrage and humour, celebration and humanity. From the National Security Campaigns in the 1960s (when the RCMP investigated thousands of lesbians and gays working in the public service in Canada), to the Criminal Code Amendments decriminalizing homosexual acts between two consenting adults in 1969. From the 1981 bath raids in Toronto (when 286 men were arrested in raids on four gay baths, the largest mass arrest in Canadian history since the War Measure Act in Quebec) to the 1986 vote to include 'sexual orientation' as a prohibited ground of discrimination in the Ontario Human Right Code."
March 18, 2008
Doors 7pm, movie 7:30pm at Club SAW, 67 Nicholas
Free admission, $5 suggested donation.
flyer: http://divergencemovienight.com

Over time, living with HIV can numb our future. Our future with HIV can be compelling, fulfilling and adventurous. This workshop is to re-enliven us into a world that pulls us forward and lightens life, blows the dust off the imagination and invites-in possibilities. This introductory workshop for gay PHAs will reconnect yourself before HIV and build on the HIV experience as a guide.

Monday, February 11, 2008
5pm
Centretown Community Health Centre
420 Cooper, Ottawa
Free!

Note:
This event was previously called Slippage: Gay Men and Condom Use.

A radical queer history class for all of us, getting beyond Stonewall, digging in to the real history and cutting through the mainstream bullshit.

Thursday, February 14, 2008
7pm
Carleton University
Free!

address—to be announced
check http://www.aco-cso.ca/Snowblower/frame.htm
for more info

Sex work what?! Stella (www.chezstella.org), a Montreal organization by and for sex workers, presents a Sex Work 101 crash course. Chris Bruckert (U of O, Dept of Criminology) will speak about sex work in Ottawa.

Sunday, February 17, 2008
12pm
Club SAW
67 Nicholas, Ottawa
Free!

Get a facial! No, not that kind of facial... get your mind out of the gutter. Le Spa is offering a full FREE aesthetic experience for gay guys in the community.

Sunday, February 3 and 17, 2008
11am
Le Spa
429 MacLaren, Ottawa

The show is a series of paintings based on film. Each painting attempts to capture the moment in a film which effected the artist. From action, horror and drama genres, to the feelings of regret, hatred, sadness that are inspired from them. It is left to the viewer to determine the origin of the painting. What feeling, what realization was it that made the artist drop the popcorn?

Artist's Statement:
I have always been moved by films. I am drawn to the fact in the fiction, factbeing the overall message of the fictional narrative. I decided to paint moments in films that cause an emotional reaction in me. Over the process of creating this series of paintings, I’ve been able to narrow down the specific emotions I am depicting: anger, repulsion, sadness and other intense feelings. I am drawn to the moments in these films which made me cry either out of frustration, shock, or pain. I believe that there is a portion of truth in all films. It is in these moments I've depicted in the paintings that truth sinks in. This truth is a new understanding of a concept already known to the viewer. But it’s seen from a different perspective. The films I chose to paint from are either violent action/dramas or horror. The understanding drawn from them is upsetting because generally it’s a realization of a human flaw.

Opens January 2 til February 28th, 2008

March 2008 brings in a new wave of mixed media sculptures by local artist Jojo Cadieux Firth. The bold yet comically rendered ‘Vaginas With Voice’ set out to conquer all those who stand in their way of climactic victory! ‘Jane bondage’, ‘bush dyk-ahh’ and ‘mya vulva’ are only a few of the secret vagina agents that will be welcoming you to the ‘Project V’ exhibit at Venus Envy.
March and April, 2008

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